Loving a person is easy.
But then getting the correct person isn't that easy as breathing and exhaling air. Love in some way shows when your can feel that person is the correct one.
I have twice true love, one by 13 and another by 20. You can said that the first is known as puppy love because everyday there aren't any other thing you do other than smugging each other. But then when life make us grow from time to time, things and view tend to change. Or you might said getting hurt from time to time make you something invulnerable for love. In another way of saying is you are so fucking hard to trust another person.
After my first so called sweet love, that person quited because of some family issues. I had been so down ever since, crying makes my days pass and of course make me so damn pissed of. I have once swear to god that I'll never trust in true love anymore. I said that I have had enough and I hate the feelings of getting hurt. That type of feeling is hurt enough as like your heart pumps faster and faster but then did not slow down cause of the hurt. The worst thing is that when you see the one you loved get hurt too, the hurt in you multiplies by 10.
God damn it, I fall again. Another time. Talking to this person makes me gain hope on the world again but our views are so far apart in some form. When we get into serious relationship, it let us feel harder as things gone complicated and argues full-filled our daily schedule most of the time. The feeling is so bad. It did changes me a lot for LOVE but then changes make a person become weirder. Sometimes I wonder if you act so damn unacceptable is much helping than you forces yourself into someone you never know at all.
May be I have had enough hurt in life, I tend to change each other to be perfect, I know no one is perfect but then I just give it a try. That person show changes but then I'm so greedy that I wanted more. At last it gives negatives effects and problems pop up more and more. I try to solve it. I'm very good in solving maths equations but not love equations. Because the different in maths and love is maths can be rub away but love is a memory based things. The more you love the more it will become part of your life.
Gosh, that feeling is killing me, I tried all the entertainment in the world, even drugs. It don't help! When I have fun this minute, the next minute the hurt still appears, and the longer it last, the more pain I suffer. Sometimes I considering suiciding but then I know it's the most foolish thing to do when you give up on something.
I pray a lot that miracles happens. I do. But then at the same time, me myself are suppose to put effort in it. But how? When I try talking to that person, false fall upon me. I don't know how to deal with it. God, please show me the way.
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